roadkill potential....
There are moments in life when the circle is very apparent. You know, the circle that confirms that what goes around, comes around; that Karma is real, and that every action has a reaction..blah blah blah. I'm not unique in my saga today. Many people have been where I stand today, many have known the feeling. But it still my plight today, to be reminded that I am lucky.
Not long ago, I fell for a man. A charming, charismatic, talented man. He inspired me to be a better musician, to write and play more than I normally would. We would write music together, and challenge each other in something we both loved.
After the guitar strings no longer rang, and the songs were lost, I began to feel something. Something, that now I know, was a big red flag. There were too many phone calls, too many other girls that were texting late in the night.
And I was right. Not before my heart was invloved, but I was right. In fact, I was more than right. I was the other woman. I was the very essence of an idea that I hated. I didn't know it at the time, but I know it now. I know it, because I wasn't the only one. I wasn't the only one that felt a certain amount of guilt that comes with thinking that you couldn't keep your man happy. I have found that guilt is easier than the raw pain. It is something that I can justify, that I can personify to blame a broken heart on.
After time, as with all my hurts, I learn the proper place for the hard lesson I learned. In lyrics that I am proud of, that I smile when I sing now. In a friendship that was most unexpected. (Who would have found a friend in his girlfriend?) In a smarter, wiser, and slightly more cautious version of myself.
I have learned, just today, that he will be marrying the little tart that he messed around on me with.
I am so lucky to not be that girl!
Not long ago, I fell for a man. A charming, charismatic, talented man. He inspired me to be a better musician, to write and play more than I normally would. We would write music together, and challenge each other in something we both loved.
After the guitar strings no longer rang, and the songs were lost, I began to feel something. Something, that now I know, was a big red flag. There were too many phone calls, too many other girls that were texting late in the night.
And I was right. Not before my heart was invloved, but I was right. In fact, I was more than right. I was the other woman. I was the very essence of an idea that I hated. I didn't know it at the time, but I know it now. I know it, because I wasn't the only one. I wasn't the only one that felt a certain amount of guilt that comes with thinking that you couldn't keep your man happy. I have found that guilt is easier than the raw pain. It is something that I can justify, that I can personify to blame a broken heart on.
After time, as with all my hurts, I learn the proper place for the hard lesson I learned. In lyrics that I am proud of, that I smile when I sing now. In a friendship that was most unexpected. (Who would have found a friend in his girlfriend?) In a smarter, wiser, and slightly more cautious version of myself.
I have learned, just today, that he will be marrying the little tart that he messed around on me with.
I am so lucky to not be that girl!
posted by Christa @ 2:19 AM
1 Comments:
At 6:53 AM,
Susie Geissler Aka "Zens7s" said…
Well said girl, well said. We ARE smarter, wiser, more cautious versions of ourselves before. We also are lucky to be on a path that will take us to the kind of man who will reciprocate the respect we give him and not abuse the trust we put in him. To the road ahead and Cheers my friend!!!
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